ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
