Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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