i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
