the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
