My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
