is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
