Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize