Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
