butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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