Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You need Xanax blowdarts
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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