That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
