Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
