You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
