I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize