Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize