I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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