Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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