btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
operation harelip BJ is a go
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
