She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
