guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
