You're completely useless in the revolution.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
