I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize