i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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