We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
