Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
