Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and she was petting her beer can
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
