i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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