if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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