dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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