biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
