this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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