dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
