I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
