Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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