Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
