He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
