Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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