do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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