I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
