Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
