from now on my penis is your penis
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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