Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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