kristin has been a bad kristin
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
