he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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