Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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