this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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