u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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