I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
