My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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