she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
