Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
