my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
