maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
