It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
