We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
