final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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