and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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