you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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