how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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