well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
