Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
