So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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