Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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