i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
