I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
