ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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