Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
