she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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