he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
