she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize