my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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