bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
