So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
