I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
