I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
