He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
