I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
