i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
