It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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