Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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